I, a total stranger, was thinking of befriending your kid, but before I did, I thought I'd ask you, are they a boring, selfish jerk?
It's fine if they are, I'm just really trying to find quality people to be friends with, so I thought I'd ask you, is your kid a dick?
Wait, don't get offended! How are people supposed to know whether to hang out with your kid if you can't answer a simple question?!
